Does This Look Even????

There are certain activities where siblings following in each others’ footsteps is a GOOD thing; Olympians, Supreme Court justices, Nobel Prize winners, Astronauts.  There are other activities where the following in the foot steps things is not such a great idea at all. No, not so much.  Number1Son set the bar pretty high with his little foray into self-grooming, shaven head and all. Whirling Dervish and Glamour Rayz were the next to follow in their big brother’s footsteps.

Whirling Dervish has a head of whirling tight little corkscrew curls.  Hair-taming is always a contentious time on the Edge.  WD has even devised plans to avoid me so that I won’t brush the hair, preferring to look like an electrified troll doll and potentially suffer ridicule from her classmates than deal with her brush-wielding mother. Although she is getting better with age, quite a few tears have been shed over the years.  Glamour Rayz has curls too, but hers are bigger and only slightly less rogue than her sisters.

Glamour Rayz actually did a very nice job trimming her hair to the point where I almost didn’t notice (she had hit me with the 200-watt smile and the big doe eyes which threw me off a bit).  While pleased with her steady hand, I did impress upon her that there are professionals that cut hair and that she should stick to cutting paper so as not to remove an eye, or anyone else’s for that matter.  And yes, that qualifier about trimming other people’s hair needed to be mentioned….I know my daughter and I really didn’t want to have to call some child’s parents to tell them that GR had given them an asymmetrical ‘do.

When WD marched down this ritual path of self-trimming, she didn’t understand that her hair is longer, much, much longer, when it’s wet.  Imagine her surprise (and mine) when as her hair dried, it shrunk into its mop of tightly wound springs, leaving her, not with the row of bangs that she cut just above her brow line, but a row of pillow fringe that was sticking straight out like her own personal awning.

In an wacky coincidence, Whirling was, as her brother years before, due to walk down the aisle at a wedding in a fortnight. What IS it with my kids, haircutting, and weddings????

Did a lot of praying that the awning would grow to an acceptable length before the big day.  Alas, every last one of the hair gods was on vaca and out of cell phone range.  On the big day, I tried mousse, but the baby curls were running amok.  Added some hairspray. No dice. Had to pull out old school big guns and lay on some extra strength Dippity Do. That stuff could slick a baby hair down to within an inch of its life.  And Presto! Between the mousse, the hairspray and the “Do,” Whirling was shinier  the groom’s rental shoes and looked like I had rubbed the front of her head with a pound on bacon and topped it with some shellac for good measure.

I sat in the audience and as my Princess Whirling came down the aisle, all shiny and glazed, I hoped that the photographer’s photos would not be overexposed from the light reflecting off my daughter’s head.

But, my baby looked wonderful.More importantly…I WON! I beat down the errant curls.

Four kids, three hair cuts down.  it’s only a matter of time…

Bring it on, Mini-me, Bring it on!

A Little Off The Top…..

Note to Self–Don’t EVER say, “You need a haircut,” to a child unless you are on your way to the barber shop or the kiddie hair salon. I did once and woke up to a partially bald second grader.

“You need a hair cut,”  I said innocently after picking Number1Son up from the bus stop on a Friday afternoon. 

I woke up the next morning and went to the bathroom. When I got back to our bedroom and I saw two legs sticking out from my side of the bed, on the floor. “What are you doing down there—-Yowza!”  Number1 stood up while covering his head with his arms.  I saw scalp on most of the left side and one little curl at his hairline and did a sharp inhale. 

“Whaaaaaat did you do? Lemme see.”  He took his arms down and  I busted out laughing. 

“You said I needed a haircut,”  He cries. To which I reply, laughing , “I said you needed a haircut, NOT you need to give yourself a haircut.”

“Big Daddy, Big Daddy, wake up, look!”  BD rolled over, smiled, and chuckled.  I think Number1 was a little taken aback by our reactions, then he was embarrassed and told us not to laugh. “We’ve all done it son.  All kids do it,” BD reassured him. Nothing to do but laugh, really.”  I reassured him that I too had cut my own hair, and then laughed some more.  Number1Son wasn’t amused.

To add to the excitement of it all, Number1 was scheduled to have two staples removed from his head from an injury the previous week. So, we popped a hat on Number1’s head and off we go to the Dr.’s office.  Number1 took off the hat and the doctor got a gander at his self-grooming techniques. Te doctor smiled, “Wow! Keep your day job, young man and stick to cutting paper lest we see you in here for more staples.”

Since the whole left side was scalp and Number1 was due to be in a wedding in two weeks, Big Daddy had no choice but to shave his whole head.  “You look just like Daddy.”You look like the Golden Child,” I say. BD and I have another good laugh.  Number1 is still not amused.

Little did I know Number1Son was setting the precedent for his siblings.  All three of them.

Stay tuned….