Archive for February, 2010

The Inevitable….

February 25, 2010

There is always that moment when you say things that your parents used to say to you when you were a kid and you realize that you have crossed over.  Remember, “In or out!” as the screen door slammed? Or, the old stand by, “ Because I said so!”  My stepson, Number1Son, will be turning 17 next month, which got me to thinking back to that first time I realized what we had become. 

Number1Son had gotten into trouble at the child care center, following an older boy who was behaving inappropriately towards a girl.  Upon hearing what happened, we were determined to let Number1 know just how we felt about the whole thing.   I was upset, and Big Daddy was so mad he couldn’t speak.  So, we sat Number1 down at the table to talk this over. I blasted into him about not treating girls in that manner, he should know better, and asked him why he did it.  His response was that he had done it because Jamal had done it.  I was hot, and promptly remembered what my father had always said in “follow the leader” moments such as this. And then it hit me.

Dang, it is true, we do turn into them sooner or later and here we are. Well, go for it.

 So, with the parental authority voice on, I responded, “If Jamal jumped off a cliff, you would do the same?” -just as my father would ask us.

After a brief pause, with a stoic face, my son replied, “Well, how high is the cliff?” 

Big Daddy looked at me and did what any father would do at such a moment.  He jumped up and ran out of the room and busted out laughing.  I sat there big eyed, and red faced, stunned by his response.  I knew I couldn’t laugh–my husband had already claimed that response.  So I opted for the response any self-respecting parent would, I shouted.

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!  THE POINT IS THAT YOU SHOULD THINK FOR YOURSELF!” 

Of course, it was hard to ear me over my husband, who was still laughing hysterically.  I could have killed him right along with my son, who was wearing a triumphant smirk on his little five year-old face.

I put them both on punishment.

Do over…..

February 6, 2010

It’s snowing…still.  There’s definitely a lot, but we’re hanging.  Plenty of food, movies, videos games, computer, and books to keep us entertained as needed.

I live in the woods.  The trees are….well everything is covered in snow.  We shoveled the driveway three times yesterday, but didn’t make a dent.  Ate some snow, threw some snowballs.  It really is beautiful and the quiet is nice, peaceful.  So much so that the kids even noticed it.  Good thinking time. And I’m thinking all this snow might do us a little good. 

Maybe Mother Nature is telling us we need to sit down for a bit, not travel at the break neck speeds that our everyday lives have become, letting us know that we are not as in charge as we think we might be. No basketball games this weekend, no Girl Scout meetings, no piano lessons, no appointments. I took my time in the shower this morning, since I had it.  Some of the superheroes are still sleeping.

I don’t know if it’s because 2010 is the close of the first decade of the new millenium, or if it because it ends in zero, or what, but I know it has been crazy from the beginnng.  So I’m taking my snow days to regroup, reassess, and rethink my approach to my family and friends, to my health,  to my work..  I’m wiping away the slate and have a do over, to really think about what’s important, how I react to things, situations, and people, and how to be a better example for my children.

It’s nice to just be.

“….I Killed Mommy”…..

February 2, 2010

It’s really cold outside and has been for the past few days.  Today is no different.  Before I get out of bed, I know it’s going to be a really cold one. Bones are creaking and stuff is aching, particularly my shoulder….

It was the first warm day of the year and the kids wanted to go up to the church parking lot and ride around on their bikes, skateboards, scooters, etc…Big Daddy was washing the car, and my mother-in-law, Ma, was in town.  As the kids piled in the truck, I ran inside and grabbed my son’s skateboard. I used to skateboard all the time as a kid. It’d be fun to have a whirl.  I’m thinking, “Got my cargo pants on, my low top teal-colored chucks on, and I’m going skateboarding with my kids.  I’m the cool Mom. The “Mom of the Year” award is surely in my grasp.  I could feel it.

As I bounded down the front steps, Big Daddy looked up and asked me what I was doing with the skateboard.  “I’m going skateboarding, what’s it look like?” To which he responded, “Woman, put that damn thing back in the house.”

“I got it, I’m good!” 

We rolled up to the parking lot and unloaded.  I took a few spins on the board and was feeling pretty pleased with myself, thinking I’ve STILL got it. I was cruising around, and saw Mini-Me off to my left, heading directly into my path.  He was wearing a helmet, but even so, I was thinking if I run into him, he’s going to hit the pavement and get busted up.  So I took one for the team and hopped off my skateboard.  Bad move.  Whomever said that we’re supposed to throw ours hands out to break our fall was an IDIOT.  I stuck my hands out and and as soon as I hit the pavement, I felt it…..I dislocated my shoulder.

I saw Mini-Me standing over me saying, “Oh my God, I killed Mommy!”  It was interesting to see my kids’ reactions; Mini-me was scared he ‘d killed me, Whirling Dervish went quiet, her “worry” mode kicking into high gear, and Glamour Rayz wasn’t quite sure what was happening, but her eyes were bugging out of her head.

There I was, laid out on the ground with my arm perpendicular to my body, and not in a good way. Actually, It didn’t hurt, I just couldn’t put my arm down.  Ma came over and asked if  I was okay and could I get up.  I couldn’t.  “You have to get up! If Big Daddy sees you down there, you’ll never live it down. Get Up, get up!” she said. I started laughing and tried to figure out how I could get on my feet.  After a few minutes of trying unsuccessfully, I finally told her that she was going to have to call Big Daddy.  “Are you sure, can I help????”  She was smiling, because she knew….

Up rolled Big Daddy in the convertible.  He got out of the car, walked over, took one look at me and busted out laughing.  All I could do was join him. Whirling Dervish was slightly relieved that I was not going to die right there in the parking lot. Big Daddy tried to help me up, but I had to do it myself.  I took a  deep breath and sat up. I figured out that my arm didn’t hurt if I rested my hand on my head.  Big Daddy was still laughing.

While Ma took the kids and equipment home, reassuring Mini-Me that he hadn’t killed me and Whirling Dervish that I was going to live, Big Daddy drove me, arm on head, to the ER. He called Jersey Girl on the way, who also busted out laughing.  What great family and friends.

By the grace of GOD, there was no one in the waiting room.  When I say no one, I mean NO ONE.  We had to tap on the glass for the triage nurse to come.  We were ushered right in to do the preliminary stuff.  When the nurse asked me what brought me in today, I said I thought I dislocated my shoulder.  “And how did you do that?” She asked.  “Skateboarding…” She looked up from her computer screen to make sure he had heard me right.  She looked from me to Big Daddy to make sure I wasn’t pulling her leg.  Big Daddy started laughing again, ” Yes, you heard right.  Tony Hawke here was skateboarding with the kids.”  She just smiled and said, “Well, at least you were out with your kids.  You could have been lying on the couch.” I smiled.  At least someone appreciated my “Greatest Mommy EVER” effort.

We get back into the ER, and I am hooked up to an IV of pain reliever lickety split and am feeling REALLY groovy. My arm hadn’t really been hurting me, but the nurse knows best.  Every time someone asks about how I hurt myself and I explain  that I had been out skateboarding with my children, after they get bug-eyed with disbelief for a second that I said skateboarding, they all thought it was cool I was out being an active parent.  Woo Hoo! Maybe “Mother of the Year” is not out of my grasp after all.  Off for X-rays, I went.

Being the overachiever that I am, not only did I dislocate my shoulder, but I managed to fracture the joint as well.  Nice. Iwas told that the Orthopaedic Surgeon would pop my shoulder back in and then given all the instructions for recuperation at home. I couldn’t figure out why the nurse was all dreamy looking when  she was telling me about the surgeon. And then he came in….

Yes, I am happily married woman, but I know a fine specimen of human engineering when I see one.  Velvety voice, tanned olive skin, dark hair, hazel eyes, he looked like the cover of GQ Magazine.  I know I looked like a ding bat, cheesing like a Cheshire cat, hoping I wasn’t drooling from the IV drip. I tried to suck my stomach in, not that it would have mattered anyway.  I was flat on my back with my boobs in my armpits (y’all know how that works), looking like I had NO neck, and where he got a full view right up the bat cave.  I prayed there were no boogies in there. I didn’t have to worry about bringing “Sexy Back.”  Sexy had high-tailed right out of the ER, never to return. I just nodded while he talked, trying not to look like a total nut job.  He could have told me that I needed to shave my head and pick my toes to heal my arm and I would have followed the doctor’s orders to the letter. He said he thought I was cool for skateboarding with my kids.

Wait…..did “Doctor Hot” say he thought I was cool?

To hell with the Mother of the Year award.


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