Big Daddy has put me in the cone of silence and I am well deserving. We were arguing and though that really doesn’t happen very often on the edge, I was fightin’ dirty. I pulled out the, “You’re going to end up just like your dad, alone and miserable!!!!!” line, which I know hurts BD at his core.
Right after the comment flew out of my mouth, I wished I could have grab it back out of space. Though I did apologize shortly thereafter, I know that just because I did so, the sting didn’t immediately go away. And while some of his personality is like his dad’s, as we are all like our parents in some ways we care not to embrace, BD is a far, far better parent and man than his own dad. I know that and so does he. I and his children adore him far too much that he would ever be miserable and alone.
The crazy thing was that I knew I shouldn’t have gotten sucked into the argument in the first place and had told myself that I wasn’t going to. I was working on an hour and half of sleep and had a whole bunch of stuff to do in a hurry and was not in the mood. And one thing led to another and whammo.
I wanted to kick myself and I’m sure BD wanted to kick me too, though he would never do so. I had just been reading about being silent and not reacting and here I was not only reacting, but hitting below the belt.
After that, it didn’t matter if I was right or if my argument made more sense than his(which is still up for debate) because anything I said fell on deaf ears. So, did I really accomplish anything by throwing it out there?
Maybe there is something to that “Silence is Golden.” I have a feeling I am going to be in the cone of silence for a bit longer, so I’ll have plenty of time to learn that one.
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