Weapon of Mass Destruction…….

Butter Face

Cute isn’t he?  Don’t be fooled by the floppy ears, and the little eyebrows. This is Butter Face the Wonder Dog and he STINKS! We got him from the folks at Lucky Dog Animal Rescue (www.luckydoganimalrescue.org).  He got us, lookin’ all cute and cuddly.  He did all the adorable puppy things; licking the young superheroes on the nose, chasing the squeak toys, turning his head, and doing those doggy yoga stretches.  I walked out of the kitchen and left the butter on the counter.  Big mistake.  He came around the corner with butter on his chin. Soooooooo, so cute! And then he busted butt.

I knew dogs broke wind.  My best friend had great danes when we were growing up, so I was not new to the doggy gas thing.  But Butter Face was a whole ‘nother story.  My nose hair were singed and I felt light-headed.

People kept asking me if my dog got car sick.  Thankfully, he doesn’t. I’m not sure I could handle my dog barfing in the ride and my superheros really wouldn’t appreciate it either.  Imagine the mayhem that would ensue with the kids trying to jump ship and the dog hoppin’ around in the auto. What he does get while riding in the car is gas. Wicked, WICKED gas.  It is wrong on a whole bunch of levels.

Ya know it’s bad when the humans in the car stick their heads out of the window when Butter Face lets it rip.  He stands with his front paws on the storage compartment between the front seat, looking out the front window, his tongue wagging, leaning on me.  And then Blammo! He drops a bomb that could melt steel.

H-E-L-PUH MEEEEEEEE!  As I gasp for air, I have to slam down all four of the automatic window buttons as my children scratch on the glass trying to escape.  We all lean out the window, trying to inhale fresh air, hoping the toxic waste in the vehicle will dissipate before frostbite or heat stroke sets in depending on the season, before we can clear our lungs. I guess I should be thankful he’s not leaving these foul, malodorous clouds wafting through the house, but the vehicle is such a confined space that concentrates the offense exponentially. Daaaaayuuum!

I’m thinking we should loan him to the armed forces. He could work it like Snoopy, with some goggles and a scarf. Afterall, he is part beagle.  They could strap him on the under belly of a fighter jet and when the time comes, give him a doggy treat, and let him rip it like a crop duster. Rat-a-tat-tat-tat!  He could fall a small country in seconds. He would be the pride of the nation.

Well, maybe not the nation, but we at the Edge would certainly be proud of him.  Stinky bum and all.

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