And Then There Were Two…..

I thought Mini-me would be the one to buck sibling tradition and keep the hair trimming to the professionals. Alas,  this was not to be…..

A few years back some neighbors got together on one of the cul-de-sacs to do an outdoor laser tag party.  It was Father’s Day and what dad doesn’t want to spend the afternoon shooting at his kids now and again and do no harm?  The laser tag company came to the neighborhood, outfitted everyone, and the games took place over three backyards that are really wooded.  This being our first outdoor laser tag party, the Jenkins clan came dressed like we were performing in Cirque du Soleil. Mini-me had on a lime green shirt, I was wearing stripes, and Big Daddy was sporting his bright orange golf shirt. Needless to say, we had to regroup, go back and change our clothes.  Once outfitted, we got our camouflage grease paint on and were ready to go.  Whirling Dervish, ever stylish, decided not to change her clothes, but paint her face. So my daughter was in a bright blue bikini with green, brown and black paint all over her face.  You go, Camo-Barbi! First, it was grownups versus the kids.  Grownups rule!  Then it’s Men versus the Women!  Estrogen rules with a few of the men making excuses about how their guns had misfired, blah, blah, blah!!  Then it was mixed teams.  I went down early in this round, shot by my own daughter.  Traitor!  The final round was every man/woman/child for himself (with a secret pact by the women to take out all of the men first!)  The final three survivors were Mini-me, his friend, and a 60+ year old Grandma, who crushed us all.

Upon arriving home, I set to removing the makeup from my children. This wasn’t dime store camo make-up, but army-issue camo paint, so it took a bit of elbow grease to remove.  Whew! Got the girls scrubbed off, removing a layer or two of skin in the process. At this point, I’m thinking I need an ice pack for my elbow, ace bandage or something.  Can one get tennis elbow from camo removal?  On to Mini. Last one and if I take a running start, may I’ll be done before he goes to college. Bring it on!

I’m a scrubbin’ and a scrubbin, his was on extra thick.  Cheeks and chin, done. Nose, done. Nothing left but the forehead and his browline. Almost there. Mini-me’s fussed that I rubbed too hard, but I am determined not to be taken down by some pesky military issue paint. Ha! What kind of mother would I be? Forehead done, bring on the brow.  Yes, there was only one when he left the house that morning.  Mimi-me had sported a unibrow for most of his life.

So, when I finally got through all of the camo makeup, I realized that something was amiss. My son no longer had a unibrow, but had ½ an eyebrow on each side. 

Apparently, someone in my son’s class had given him a hard time about his unibrow.  It really wasn’t that noticeable unless you got really close.  But Mini had decided to take matters into his own hands.

“Whaaaaat did you do?????”

“Mooom, somebody at school was teasing me about my unibrow, so I shaved it to make two!”

“How did  you–” Then it hit me.

The swath he had shaved was exactly the width of my bic shaver that I used to shave my legs.  The one that was hanging in the shower.  So instead of removing ¼ inch of hair between his brows to make two, he had removed 2 inches of hair, leaving him with ½ an eyebrow on each side. Mission accomplished. There were definitely two of them, hanging out there like quotation marks over the corners of his eyes.

 Well, he didn’t have to worry about a unibrow……. for a good long while.  That was for sure.

Four really is a charm.

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One Response to “And Then There Were Two…..”

  1. Terri-Nicole Says:

    Hey Becca,

    Enjoyed reading some of your blog. Quotation Mark Eyebrows is classic.;-)
    Reminds me of when the girls in HS used to shave their eyebrows and draw them in so it looked like they had stuck a compass on their noses to get the arch just right. We called them surprise eyebrows cause the girls constantly looked like they had just got some shocking news.

    It’s good to be in touch and share a moment with you. Web 2.0 rules!

    Love to you and your family,
    ~Terri

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